Festive Message

Lighten up you miserable, argumentative, whinging, bar stewards.

It may be Christmas. It may be a poor time of year for people who are skint. It may be a bad time of year due to the lack of sunlight regenerating the chemicals in the brain. It may be a tiring time as all these memories of chores and changes that 2008 was going to bring.

But – keep it to your freaking selves and don’t drag the rest of us down with you.

Life is too short. Think of the loved ones who we lost this year, and of friends who are suffering from illness. We don’t need more pressure over a broken zip, a misplaced comment in the media, or if a stove takes 3 seconds longer to boil a pint of water at room temperature.

Now, take it away Neville …

He is English.

Long may your lum reek.

Oh, and any negative comments will be deleted. So, blow it out your left ear.