ChuckleVision Howeller

Having cleaned the windows and re-organised my book piles, I caught the end of the Chuckle Brother’s zany antics on BBC2 this morning. During the blooper reel at the end, the name of Colin Ibbotson was mentioned, as one Chuckle got it mixed with the name of a character. The other responded with “you went to school with Colin Ibbotson” (or words to that effect).

Is this another claim to fame of the “UK Super Lightweight Hiker”, Colin Ibbotson? If so, the episode is “Jumping Jackpot” and the Elliott brothers hail from Rotherham in Yorkshire. But it is probably just coincidence.

Title Says It All

This came on my CD in the car as I headed out to get some essential supplies this morning. They are a great band, I was boogying along the seafront with the aircon on, heading for an early shop – which then included the new CD “The End”.

Supplies – oscillating fan (it was 20°c at 0900hrs) and an LG widescreen LCD monitor (yup, I finally disconnected my CRT unit).

When I got back, the Boxer rifles pack from Old Glory was waiting for me. I only ordered it when I was editing a video after midnight on Thursday night/Friday morning. Good going. I’ll get all my figures to the same stage of prep and then wait for a rainy day to get a wodge painted.

So much to do before I can disappear to the hills with a clear conscience.

If you haven’t figured it out – I survived another teaching year, and I’m looking forward to next year. Emotionally and physically, I’m having a big clearout at home and at work. “Hello, Trail? Yup, I’m cancelling my subscription”. Life is too short to get dragged down by other people. I can’t define my life by what I am not. I like problem-solving, I like helping people, I like learning things. I am a geek. No more, no less.

Break-up Food

I got these for a pal yesterday, when I was in Matthews Chinese supermarket yesterday.

It just reminded me of the joke that ends “well, sometimes the bull wins”.

ANZAC Day

I’ll be having some biscuits later today.

Ignoring some of the inane comments on YouTube, SmileyNoir’s posted a good photostory set to The Pogues’ music. It is good to remember the dead, to look into their eyes in photographs, to steal a glimpse into their lives – maybe it curbs the hindsight, adds to the empathy, and makes us wonder how we would cope. Whilst our squaddies fight in different parts of the world, we squabble over getting cut up by some idiot trying to get to a meeting a few seconds earlier, or neighbours throwing shopping trollies over the fence, or shout at the tv when some prat tells us that Ghurkhas don’t deserve to live in a country that they have fought to protect.

Maybe old photographs let us civvies get things into perspective, and think that our lot in life could be far worse. Maybe it shows that some things haven’t changed much. Maybe we could live better lives, and give the dead more meaning. We stand on the shoulders of giants. Do something worthy of their passing.

S-i-N City

Sally-in-Norfolk is interviewed by Radio Norfolk. Along with another lady, they talk about Facebook, blogging and twittering.

Sadly I squirmed at the need for the presenters to explain to the audience what the heck it is all about. I can’t help but think that the folk had the same issues when trying to explain the advantages of the printed word in the 15th century. I guess that’s why I have a book on order about the growth of the telegraph system. Just to see if there are any similarities between then and now. Humans tend to repeat experiences and attitudes, so I’d be surprised if there wasn’t any similarities.

Surprisingly the presenters then push their own Facebook group. Hey ho. I must have picked up the negative-sounding comments wrong then.

Sally’s post  - 2 hrs 10 mins in on iPlayer link, plus some chatter later.

There’s a defence of the blogs at 2hrs 35mins in.

Me? I don’t care. If people can’t be bothered, then they don’t have to. The world carries on. FFS, get a life, get your own life. Some people can get through life without ever needing to drive, or use a video recorder, or tv. Life goes on. It is part of the joys of humanity – we are all different, we all have differing passions. We are allowed to be different. Embrace that. I’ve given up defending what I do.

This is different from making people aware of what modern technology can do. And this changes on a daily basis – just look at the articles on Webware.com to see the changing face of online technology, and the pace at which it moves. There are some studies that say that emails are in decline – yet many people see the email as a modern way of communicating. I get more texts than I do emails, or tweets, or blog articles that I read on a regular basis. But that is just me, and my technological/age-group, for others it will be their Bebo or Facebook pages. This all raises an interesting problem for education – how can we teach people about communication tools if they have not yet been invented. Heck, it is really quite simple. We don’t. We teach the advantages of good communications, and the disadvantages of bad communication. We teach the difference between face-to-face communications and letter-writing. Of mass-communication and communicating with friends. And of communicating with different media.

Although the technology changes, the essence of it does not. We are humans, and the tools we develop are there to help us in different ways. They allow us to communicate across distances, across time zones, through language barriers (press the Babel-fish logo on the sidebar), ignoring race, colour, age, or gender re-alignment. Things that our forefathers could not do are now done on a daily basis by people. Our lives can be made easier, but not necessarily happier or more fulfilling. For that, we have art. Hold on to that which makes us happy, and continue to dream the impossible dream.

The Akto Standard of Measurement

Mike borrowed his Slik tripod back for a few days. Despite the fact that I hadn’t used it for a while, taking most of the recent Honey Stove videos using the Velbon 2nd hand tripod. I did get some good shots with the Velbon but it isn’t as stable or good looking. I felt that I needed to have a decent stable tripod for myself. Something that looks right and feels right.

A look at the named brands found a sale on the heavyweight Slik Pro 700DX kit. Although the head on offer is different from the one in the video (via a review link from photographyreview.com), it sealed the deal. I ordered from fotosense.co.uk despite others having similar deals. I had used them before, and they have free shipping.

That is almost 2 Aktos in weight. At under half and Akto in price.

I aim to do away with kilograms and pounds and weigh everything in relation to my tent. I did that when buying my Scarpas. The cut-off weight was the Akto’s weight (approx 1.5kg). It ties in with the ‘beer standard’ used in “White Dwarf” years ago.

And I haven’t even had my breakfast yet.

REMF

Not much been going on this week. Okay, so that is a lie, there has been lots happening, but nothing vaguely related to this blog.

Paramo short gaiters arrived from Foothills. Part of my WHW AAR. Also part of this was the ordering of a pair of Goretex over-socks from Furtech. My feet don’t do well in Sealskinz socks – great for river-crossings, and for around the tent, but not for hiking in. Oversocks had been on my radar since some people, eg Dawn, had mentioned them.

I’ve been reading some more of Jon Vonhof’s “Fixing Your Feet” . There is a great section on solutions for feet problems…lots of solutions. Great – everyone is different, and there is no one solution. Something it takes time to realise.

A very nice woman has mailed me her … sorry … their BushBuddy woodburning stove, and I’ll be having a play with it over Christmas. I’ve given Honey Stove feedback to Bob, so it will be good to see them both side by side. He has certainly piqued my interest. I want to see how it all works – or doesn’t – in a moorland situation.

The StickPic arrived during the week. I had found that they were selling off ‘seconds’, so got a few dollars off. Which was nice. I hadn’t had the chance to try it out yet … well, I have, but you really don’t want to see late-night photos of me in my PJ’s waiting for the cold-drugs to wear off so that I can sleep. In case you don’t know what a StickPic is, here is George and Jason’s videos about it. I’m sure they can send John and Andy a typed transcript instead ;-)

Having had problems with my tv recorder, I finally cleared off all the recorded shows and re-formatted the hard drive. No longer will every activation of the device start up with a clip of Chris Townsend pitching his Akto! Och. But hopefully it means that the recorder will stop ‘forgetting’ to record programs. A very useful device, and has changed my viewing habits.

Cheated and painted the gun crew in a uniform expensive black cloth, and based up the demi-culverin.

And my new washing machine was delivered today. Hopefully the saga ends there. A tale of attempted DIY, poor online shops and poorer real-world shops.

Having caught the “Culture Show” special on Baz Luhrmann last night. Besides being another chance to see some great clips from his work, I was left pondering a quote of his: “we don’t have anything if we don’t have stories”. Even something as humble as a washing machine has a part to play in the epic.

So far, so good, and no leaks.

Slinging Mud

There are many reasons that I don’t like this song.

It isn’t Elvis.

It is a dirge.

It still isn’t Elvis.

It makes me feel sad.

And it was playing at Asda yesterday, because someone doesn’t check to see what constitutes cheery shopping Christmas music. But I guess the sales of razor blades increased for a few minutes.

And worse, far worse, is that since then, I’ve been humming the freakin’ song.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhh, will no one rid me of this turbulent tiresome tune?

Festive Message

Lighten up you miserable, argumentative, whinging, bar stewards.

It may be Christmas. It may be a poor time of year for people who are skint. It may be a bad time of year due to the lack of sunlight regenerating the chemicals in the brain. It may be a tiring time as all these memories of chores and changes that 2008 was going to bring.

But – keep it to your freaking selves and don’t drag the rest of us down with you.

Life is too short. Think of the loved ones who we lost this year, and of friends who are suffering from illness. We don’t need more pressure over a broken zip, a misplaced comment in the media, or if a stove takes 3 seconds longer to boil a pint of water at room temperature.

Now, take it away Neville …

He is English.

Long may your lum reek.

Oh, and any negative comments will be deleted. So, blow it out your left ear.

History is Made: Barack Obama Wins

In the early hours of Wednesday morning (UK time), Senator Barack Obama won the election to become the 44th President of the USA, as Senator John McCain admitted defeat in an honourable and dignified manner.

Inaccurate at time of posting. Accurate news on the BBC website. I’m off to bed. If it doesn’t happen, I can always re-write this. Just like the online newspapers do. Good night and good luck.

How do you spell “exceptionally”?

I had to laugh at one of the recent comments about the weekend’s OMM event that ran into a media storm.

Prof Ashton [joint director of public health for the county council and Cumbria Primary Care Trust] said: “Considering all the weather warnings that were given should they now carry legal weight and should there be any legal liability for those ignoring advice given?” [grough]

Excellent. Let’s turn this around.

I see weather warnings being given that amount to nothing. So, if I don’t go into work because of the weather warnings, and the weather comes to nothing, will my work have a claim against the Government for loss of work?

Will insurance companies refuse to pay out if the weather forecast was severe? Well, people did ignore the advice. All these lorries blown over by the winds each winter.

Link to the Met Office to see if you have a legal duty not to travel to work.

Hopefully pubs and clubs selling alcohol will have a similar duty of care.

--

The title comes from a cartoon I remember seeing in a construction magazine in the 1990’s. Two builders are sat on top of a house roof, rainwater is lapping around their wellies, one is filling out a claims form, and asks his mate “how do you spell “exceptionally?””. It refers to the claim of exceptionally inclement weather.

Wild mood swing

Like a tv advert, the baseroom erupts forth when the clock chimes 5. The group splits as exit choices are made and i walk out with one chap, talking about holidays and his search for motivation to go on exploratory walks in to our fine countryside. Crossing a road, and we part company with warm wishes. Two steps later, my mood has changed and i am now in pre-operational mode. My inner vision is recalling the weather forecarts forecasts that i have in my bag. My eyes are looking at the clouds. Arriving home, i barely take my jacket off before i am trimming a windshield so it will fit into my snowpeak cookpot along with the gas cannister that promises to work at lower temperatures than normal. My usual tactic of stacking required kit in piles on my bed comes into play again, and i grab gear as i see it and place it in a pile. I have very few choices to make. I will, however, be taking more kit with me just in case. The forecast refers to squalls, gales and snow. Better to be safe than sorry, as i will have only myself to blame. Life is unforgiving. The bad weather may be on the hills rather than the glens. It may pass me by. Plan for the worst, hope for the best.

Comments Race: Steward's Enquiry

Having previously declared the v8 of the comments (that's the one that receives the comments newsfeed from googleData), I've been watching the occasions when v2 (which uses gets the comments fed via the Atom system). Although I haven't been keeping an official score, I have found Atom to be more up to date with the latest comments more often than googleData. It could be that being on the west coast of Scotland, I'm nearer to the USA. Silly, I know, but as good a reason as any.

So, I'm declaring an end to this frivolity and code chasing. Atom's feed system (v2) has outperformed the runner up, googleData (v8) when it comes to the long haul.

Was it all worth it? Of course not, but that's technology for you. But comments are the social side of blogging, so being able to see a list of recent comments in a sidebar is important to me - if not to Blogger. Having to wait up to 3 hours for the feed to come through was simply unacceptable. A shame that no-one at Blogger saw it like that and answered my questions when they came back from their weekend.

In the interim, people like Darren are texting me to move to WordPress, and others are suggesting that I try non-Blogger commenting systems.I guess that it showed me a chink in the Heath-Robinson affair that is Web2.0. Imagine if your word processor was made up of components from different manufacturers - a spell-checker from X, word-count from Y, clipart from Z. Each needing separate downloads and installs. We'd think the world had gone feil!

My current state of affairs here at "Blogger" is:

• text written on Microsoft's "Windows Live Writer" or on my mobile phone. Rarely on Blogger's online editor.
• graphics held at Yahoo!'s Flickr and Zooomr, with stock photos at Stock.Xchng and some on Picasa when Blogger puts them there.
• video at Google's YouTube
• analysis through Google Analytic, Maps.among.us, ClustrMaps and FrapprMap
• posts converted to mp3 via Odiogo and translation available with Yahoo! Babel Fish
• a personalised radio feed with Last.FM and a shop at CafePress
• even the template in used by the blog has been pochled from the original

Each one will make a bit of money from advertisers when services are visited. Just look at WebWare.com to see the daily growth of social software systems. With the credit crunch hitting advertisers (or so reports ITV bosses), with 3G not available in most towns in the UK, will there be an investment in the system to get the Internet into our mobile phones, and so adverts into our pockets.

To be blunt, social software simply means more eyeballs on adverts and so more chance of the elusive purchase. In return we get all these services for free. After years of listening to commercial radio and watching commercial television, I'm more likely to buy a product based on personal recommendations, eg at a recent meeting or in a magazine review or via an online discussion, than in a plain advert that just gives me a product name and price. What I want are shops that present me with enough information to allow me to decide that I'll buy the product. I've seen too many online shops recently that have minimal information (thereby expecting the consumer to have wasted time on researching the product). Like the rest of us, retailers have access to a vast array of media hosting, so they need to get the finger out and start to use these to promote their products. Customers are tightening their belts. Will online retailers produce fresher media to try and close the sale, or will they still think of the online medium as a new form of paper? We are already seeing a return to the old "soap opera" format with the direct sponsorship of tv and online shows. Will we see the same format being applied to online services? Will the future see companies like Tesco sponsor (not merely advertise on it) the development of new social systems? Will HSBC build a rival to Paypal?

Winner of the Comments Race

The recent comments race has been won by "version 8", the googleData feed. In 2nd place was the Atom feed, "version 2". The more observant will have noticed that I removed other versions a few days ago.

Although some were fast to collect the data from Blogger, the relay via RSS to the user was slow. E.G. when using Yahoo!'s "Pipes", I could refresh the program after writing a comment, and the code would show it on the screen (along with the previous comments), however the delivery from Pipes, via RSS, to the blog page was slow. Checking with other bloggers via text, and via other browsers, I got the same story.

As I mentioned here recently, there was no reply from Google/Blogger to the causes of these delays, and I can only surmise that it is volume of traffic causing it. Sometimes it took 3 hours for the sidebar element to pick up notification of an updated comment. Sometimes less time.

This all started when Blogger failed to notify me of new comments, and then I noticed how long it took for updates to appear in the sidebar element. In the end, to see who had left recent comments, I resorted to watching the number of comments change below the blog post. Hardly a 21st century solution. So the search started.

And now, to end with a quote from Mr Adams:

"we have normality........ anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem"

source info - what a shame that the Guide's warning is covered over by the BBC's guff. Says it all about the respect that megacorporations have for the customer. Go on, panic, the BBC wants you to! Now, where did I leave my towel?

Yup, back to normal. My faith in Web2.0 megacorps has been shattered by this, and another recent event. But life goes on. Who cares. Earth2.0? No thanks. It'll be filled with management consultants and telephone sanitisers...oops. Play the closing tune, Satchmo.

This Morning's Spew

4 days without checking the Net. My main email account downloaded 159 spam items straight to the bin, leaving some YahooGroups and private messages to read and follow up.

iTunes to refresh after listening to some podcasts on the journey.

No messages from eBay or the offending seller. Bidding ended, and my photo was still there, advertising the person's tent. Used without my permission, non-attributed, and used to make the person money. So, I posted on the eBay community (where I expect a reply of "tough luck"), and contacted the buyer (where it'll probably end up in their spam box):

In the sale that just ended, the seller used a photo of my Akto without my permission. I'd contacted both him and eBay about it, but nadda. I hope it all goes well for you, as the Akto's a great tent (google me at AktoMan), but I thought I'd set the record straight.

Washed out kit last night, and I've rest still to unpack and air. I've started to reply to some of the new comments and emails.

But, importantly, catching up with Friday's "The Now Show".

I've a pile of notes to work through, and the blog posts from the weekend to go back and update with photos. As well as Dawn's tarp-tent to play around with.

Does leaving no trace restrict us

I've just listened to a podcast where the idea of "leave no trace" was seen as restrictive. The speaker sees humans as part of the environment as was happy to "leave positive trace". So, what's a positive trace, especially where you don't own the land and are sharing it with others. Are permanent firepits positive or negative? Each person has a different idea. This weekend 10 of us met on Dartmoor and had a good time, i certainly didn't feel restricted by making sure i left no trace. I could have left some land art or totem carved on a sheep's skull, but it would not have been to everyone's tastes. Even weaving a wicker man with Tall Martin's tent inside would not have been seen as positive by everyone. Especially Martin. No, we can each argue over what we think is positive improvements, but i don't own land and i pass through the environment like a shade, just like ancestors before me, at the whim of laird or chieftain. A mere footnote in the history books, the crofter, sailor, tiller of land, infantryman or driver. No pyramids or holidays to the likes of us. The least we can do is leave no trace on the environment as we pass its care on to the next generation.

News from the North

List of online newspaper archives. I found this list by accident when trying to find out about the NY Times archive project.

Saturday, 22nd November 1862. "The New South" newspaper from Port Royal, South Carolina. Kindly hosted by the University of South Carolina. link

I thought it strange that a South Carolina paper seemed to be focused on the Northern news. A quick search finds that although the state was the first to secede from the Union in 1861, Port Royal was captured by the USA in November 1861 (link). Completing my circular search, Captain Cannon of the steamer Delaware also received a mention earlier in 1862 in the NY Times (pdflink).

The closing lines of the soldier's poem on page 1 hold true today as back then. They strike me hard when I think of our squaddies getting abuse for REMF politics. No doubt it has been true since dawn's early light. At the Roman Wall, a squaddy asked for socks to be sent. Empathy across the ages. History is important. Social networking isn't limited to the living, but to the lessons from the dead too.

I'm off to catch up with over 150-years of newspapers from around the world.

Dilemma Over

Ah well. I opened the presentation case. Forced out the hip flask. It seemed to shrink before my eyes. I checked the volume. 2.5 fluid ounces. Aargh.

Realistically, I'm after at least a 4 fluid ounce flask. Friday night. Saturday morning. Saturday evening. Sunday morning. 1 fluid ounce of fuel per meal (approximately). I'm probably being over cautious, but that's just me.

I'll have a look back at the one Alan BG! offered me.

The Real Monarch of the Glen ep1

Message sent to BBC iPlayer folk:

Cracking job on the iPlayer, but when will you include BBC Scotland and not just BBC England? For example, some mates down south wanted to watch "The Real Monarch of the Glen" (BBC2 Scotland), so I pointed them to your iPlayer. Only then did one of the chaps point out your lack of regional programming.

I'm not interested in when the TV down south will show the prog, but just why your iPlayer is biased against us up here. As you are constantly working hard to improve the iPlayer, I hope that this oversight will be corrected shortly.

The programme - merely reshowing clips from the original, with expanded material. Mr Lister playing to the camera when eating ants in Scandinavia. Terms like "the cycle of life", "enclosed reserve", "fenced reserve" and "let's just do it". Sweeping statements from the programme-makers "make a remote spot ... a little wilderness", and "now the first animals are back".

I'm sure the BBC will bring out inconsistencies, like bringing employment to the area, but the construction workers were Polish (heck, maybe they live in the area, I don't know). 700 brown bears in the whole of Sweden (stated the script), yet Mr Lister wants wants to introduce 12 to his small estate. Estate: 23,000 acres. Sweden: 111,188,530 acres. Obviously pure maths doesn't work here as the scientists know how much room these bears need. The same bears that  "won't be shy as they'll have less woods to hide in".

Anyone up for pony-trekking in amongst un-shy brown bears? I think I'll need to bag that Munro before the whatever-it-is-just-don't-call-it-a-zoo opens.

--

Filed under "Celebrity Interviews", there's an interview with Mr Lister in the Daily Record (story-link). Just don't bother doing a search for the word "zoo" in the interview. Nor is there mention of the Local Authority's objection to part of the proposal. In fact, the only mention of opposing views is in the statement that "Ramblers - some of whom have raised opposition to Paul's plans - currently number 300 on the estate each year." Therefore it could be implied that the number of objections are a subset of 300 (here's a link to the MCoS newsletter in case you want to hear objections from non-Ramblers).

But, hey, I wasn't going to start listing faults with the media. Good luck to the project. I've said things elsewhere that you can read if you are interested, so I won't repeat them here.

"Scotland is a nation on the move. We will accept nothing less than success." Oh, that was the First Minister, during his "Free to Prosper" speech and not Mr Lister.

I look forward to the rest of the series, and hope that the later programmes reveal more facts about Scotland being open for business, though perhaps the term "Monarch" in the title says all about the due deference being paid so far.

Monday's Moral Maze

After being reminded to look for a hip-flask I was sure I had, I couldn't find it in my 'spares' hiking box. So I went looking in my kitchen. I shifted a box to look in the back of a cupboard. As I pulled out the box, the word "Glenfiddich" shone out in gold lettering. Howard Carter, eat your heart out!

Should I open the presentation case to use hip-flask to store meths for my cooker? It will fit into the Alpkit titanium mug. Alan Sloman reckons his has a 4 ounce capacity. 1 fluid ounce (30ml) per main meal. That should be enough for a weekend. What a dilemma!